Some thoughts

As of now its in the middle of a identity crisis, I am not sure which way its headed.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

I have never had so much work, and at the same time been so bored.
Maybe ile just go on travelzoo and book a vacation.

Monday, July 25, 2005

It just hit me

I am not sure why I am writing this.

Sitting here today while fasting, I wasn't that interested in work, so I started planning a ski trip that me and two friends plan on taking to Europe next year.

When I got bored of the planning, I did a bit of blog surfing, and came upon a blog, I forget which one, where he had a thing about tipping, that if it doesn't hurt you and its good for him, do it. That's been my philosophy for a while already, but that blog just brought it to the front of my mind.

I am no rich man by any means, although I have never lacked anything, and always had the extra dough for the extra things, so I have always been liberal with my money. Lately I ran into a extra influx of cash, a nice size addition for my bank account, so I figured I would give tzdaka, and use it as a base to start some investments.

So I started giving money, I gave a bunch more then my masser required, and I felt content.

In shul tonight, I gave someone money, and when he left I said to myself that I probably should have given him more. A hour after the fast, I went to a friends house to pick something up, on my way home this yid came off his front steps and called me over, he told me he was broke, and asked if I could give him a few dollars.

He was a normal Jew, lives in a normal house (prob rents) and had no work so he was broke, he was reduced to asking me for money, so I gave him a 20, he asked if I knew where he could find some work, I told him that sadly I didn't, and we parted ways.

At first I felt good, I just gave him $20, then it hit me. Hashem gave me money, a nice amount of money, I keep on telling him that I want more money to give out more money, and here all that I could give the guy was a twenty?

Something is telling me that I am being to hard on myself, but I know its for sure not my good side telling me that. If hashem wants to give me money he can give me what he wants with a smaller investment, and a extra 20 or a 100 wouldn't make of a diffrence.

So I think I will start giving even more tzedaka, and
realize how lucky I am to have what I have, and be in a position to give.

Sunday, July 24, 2005

The failed invention

Its not that scary, but being that there is a lack of anything intelligent to write, I figured I would share this small story.

Basically my brother decided he was going to become rich inventing a tin that keeps food hot in the oven until shabbos afternoon, without drying it out.

So he concocted a double layer tin. Constructed from two made in China tins. A bottom layer, standard 9 inch pan with water inside,and a top layer that was shorter to stay out of the water, and had holes on the bottom to let in steam, so that it wouldn't be in the water.

So shabbos afternoon, we take off the cholent, take out the cold cuts, and eagerly await the red light to go on so that we can take the schnitzel and kugel out of the oven in this newly invented high Tec food warming tin.

After waiting patently, we opened the over took out the pan and had a look, the kugel turned brown and the schnitzel became chicken jerky, it got so over cooked and shriveled up that we just thru it out. That was the end of that invention.

I think that from now on I will stick with good cold schnitzel on shabbos day.

In other news:

After reading the news reports of the bombings in London and Egypt. Its my opinion that there will soon follow a real war on terror, in which many Muslim countries will take part.

I think they have come to realize that they have become targets themselves of the hand that they used to feed, and its come time to just chop it off.

Friday, July 22, 2005

Thursday night

Its Thursday night, another week has gone by, what do I have to show for it. The same thoughts hit me every week, most weeks I am embarrassed by the time wasted, and the relatively little achieved.

This week its not that bad, I did a bunch of work, went up to visit my brother, yet still I feel wasted. I need a farbe, sitting here myself listening to music just doesn't cut it for a night like tonight. Everyone is out of town tonight, B went up to Montreal, M went home, so I am stuck here myself with my itunes, Dudu Fisher and the Phantom of the Opera.

Maybe I should invite Mr. Beck's down here with me, I think ile do that.

A Mincha Worthy of Eliyahu

Thursday, July 21, 2005


Ya know, I am really amazed by how much I could write without really writing anything.

To just write down my daily schedule everyday, would take up space, but not nearly as much as I have already written.

What amazes me more, is when I visit other blogs, and see how much they write without any problems.

I read the news, I have opinions but I have no interest in writing them, I humbly believe that as intelligent as I may be, most people can figure out what's going on in the world without my help.

Maybe I should start critiquing other blog personalities.

Its amazing what type of info you get from Y Jacobson at a farbee, A whole parsha on how Joseph Lenin's grandfather was Jewish, and how his great grandfather wrote a letter to the Tsar Nichols in Yiddish against the Jews claiming among other things that 95% of the Jews would convert if not for being scared of their wives...

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

The Siege part Two: Now and Then

In the Gemara and medrashim, where it speaks about the siege on Jerusalem by the Romans, it mentions a interesting fact. The Jews had enough supplies and food to last them for years, had it not been for the infighting between the Jews, the Romans would never have breached the wall.

Reading this article on Walla about how everyone under siege is united, singing and in high sprits, and how the residents of the kfar have all opened their homes to everyone, sharing their food, their beds, and everything that they have, leads me to conclude that they will succeed in their mission, all we need to do is give g-d a chance.

Its like it says about the wanderings in the desert, that only the stop by mount Sinai was without bickering. This stop in Kfar Maimon, unlike the rest of the things done by Israel, is K' ish Echad Bilev Echad.

"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music." - Friedrich Whlhelm Nietzsche

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

The Seige, Part One

While I sit here peacefully by my computer, some 5000 miles away 40,000 of my brothers are under siege.

In this case its not by Arabs, or by the Romans, Greeks or any other nation that has put us under siege before. This time its by 20,000 of our brothers sent to do the bidding by a despot premier who cares not of the view of the people or the priciples of democracy.

His party was elected on a platform of "Azza like Tel Aviv", This cowardly plan of
expulsion was voted down by the majority of his parties members, but he doesn't care. That Israel supposedly has freedom of assembly and freedom of speech, he doesn't care.

But 40,000 + Jews did care, and they came from all over the country, in buses stopped by the police, thru road blocks. They brought their children with them, to stand up and say "we wont give in"

So now they sit in Kfar Maimon, surrounded by barbed wire and 20,000 police and soldiers. Waiting for the marching orders to be given, when they will march forward, out of the darkness of the night, to join their brothers and sisters in Gush Katif in the light of hope and emunah.

How I wish I was there.

Camps, Here & Ukraine

Went upstate yesterday to visit my little bro in camp. My father gave me the back road directions, which is really only useful when there is traffic, however I didn't bother checking and took his scenic route anyway.

Three hours after we pulled out we pulled in to camp, only two hours late. The plan had been to leave straight away, instead I shmuzed with the head staff, who happen to be my good friends until about 5:30 when we left.

Officially we had to be back in camp by 8:30, I got back at 11:00, sent sholom off to bed, and brought in the case of beer and farbeisen and farbeed with my friends until 1:00 am, then left to get back home. The ride back only took 2 hours, and we got home at 3 o'clock.

It was nice walking around a frum camp, seeing all the kids enjoying themselves, and hearing from the staff how little they sleep at night.

My bread and butter for the last 5 summers has been the Ukraine, from Charkov, to the Crimea, and then back to the sea of Azov. No tips, almost no budget, and certainly no fully stocked canteen, but when it comes time to decide where I am going for the summer, there is not even a though of giving up the Ukraine.

While we might not have the best food, or six flag amusement parks to go to. At the end of the day the sense of fulfillment you get working out there, seeing before your eyes how the kids change, is worth every bit of lousy Ukrainian food.

From my bunk in the pesach camp, iyh four kids will be coming to yeshivas in the US this coming year.

I was sitting with one of my campers who is in Yeshiva in Dnepr, and I asked him what made him go to yeshiva 4 years ago, so he tells me that his counselor in the summer camp told him to get a bris and to go to yeshiva, so here he is four years in yeshiva, frum with no second thoughts.

Enough ramblings for now, nobody reads this anyway, so its just good finger exercise, and who knows, maybe one day ile look back at these 'writings' of mine and laugh.

Sunday, July 17, 2005

12 Years

Here I sit, having just returned from another trip to the cemetery, another year has gone by.

I remember it like yesterday, when Yudi put us on that plane from Montreal back to New York, after having been in camp for just one night.

I've often wondered what my life would be like had it not happened. I used to be one of the only younger people in shul by yiskor, these days it sometimes seems that there are more of us inside shul, then there are waiting behind the doors. As the years went by there were more and more of us having yor tzites. It almost seemed like a normal thing, life just kept on going on, but every so often it hits me that life is not supposed to be like this.

As much as life keeps on going on, we need to stop and remember the ones that are not here with us anymore, its as much for them as it is for us. For us it serves to remind us that we are only here for a limited amount of time, and to show our appreciation for those that we miss, for if we wouldn't miss them, it would mean that we lost all our feelings for them.

At the same time we must know that life must go on, if life goes on for those that passed on, it definitely can and should go on for those of us left here, if after all the mourning that we do, we know that the nishoma lives on and is being neheneh m'ziv haschina, us down here who are still 'alive' need to keep on living.

So I live, hoping and praying that come next year, we are all together again.

Friday, July 15, 2005

Identity problems

Reading Y Jacobsons article this week in the algemeiner brought to mind a very interesting experience I had in Chevron.

I was going around the mitkanim base near beit hadasa putting on tfilin with soldiers, when this one soldier walked up to me and asked, why are we better then everyone else? So I started to explaine.

I told him the story of Avraham, how the rest of the world had abandoned g-d , and how he was persecuted, I told him that every other nation on earth had the chance to accept the torah, and that only the Jewish people wanted it. And that every king has a royal family.

So he asked me, why cant we all be equal, why cant everyone in the world be the same.

At that time there were another six or seven soldiers standing about, including one Capitan from duvdivan who was standing 10 feet away who were all listening.

So I tell the soldier while looking at the Capitan, why don't you go tell him that, tell him that he should be just like you, tell your commander that your sick and tired of him bossing you around, you want to be equal. He got the point and agreed with me that we are different, and that we need to be proud of it.

Some Jews say that we are persecuted because we say we are different. If we look back at history we see that in the times when we proclaimed to the world that we are different, and lived our lives as true Jews should we were left alone in peace. But when we began to falter and lose our identity, we began to loose our land and lives.

Germany, the birthplace and home of the enlightened Jew, is where the holocaust started.

We must return to being a people that dwell alone, proud and secure in everything we do as Jews. Then we can respect ourselves and thus be respected by others.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

A cool article

Its a topic covered 100 times already, what struck me different from this one, is that he mentions that it takes 10 days to recuperate. I saw him the next night in shul, and you could really tell he had boxed the night before. Eyes swollen, puffed cheeks, it wasn't a pretty sight, but he was smiling.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Peace and quiet....

After a long month of hustle and bustle, phone calls and emails, it seems that we finally have some peace and quiet. Alas the last of the files are in by the printer.

It will most likely only last a week or so until we get busy again, but I think I will enjoy this bit of vacation.

On the menu tonight at home:

Frozen onion rings.
Frozen pizza.
Frozen knishes.
Frozen pretzels
Frozen ice cream

Speaking about knishes, this past sukkos, after having worked in my house for about 8 years, the cleaning lady finally had the courage to ask what knishes were.

My trip to Masawa, Eritrea

Looking thru my pics, I came across this one.

We left Asmara early in the morning, with Chanans second car and driver.

This is where we stopped for lunch.

All in all it was a nice trip, to many details to write here, but we stopped and gave out chocolates to the kids, and bought some of their goods. We got back right on time to make our flight.

Monday, July 11, 2005

The end of the road

At least for now it seems like we are going to have a small brake in work.

Everything for the first printings need to be in by the printer tomorrow, and the next deadline is not until the 25th, so that gives us 2 weeks with almost no work.

Doing some blog surfing in my spare time, I stumbled onto some rather interesting blogs. While I wont really quote or link to such interesting pages, I will say that some of the BP blogers have issues...

They finally set a wedding date, so now we can buy tickets. I need to find a ticket for Michoels wedding, and finalize the road trip that I would like to do. As of now its either east to Denver, with stops in Vegas, the Grand Canyon, and a park in Utah. Or north to Washington.

I was looking at maps of Oregon, and it seems that they don't have that many nice day hikes, but I figure that if we could hike to the top of mount saint Helen, it would be worth the drive.

Its funny how may lubabs you run into while jogging in the park, I am still trying to get it down to 9 min a mile, but I haven't really been jogging that much lately, so it will probably be another couple of weeks until I get there.

Its ironic how without even trying I can just babble nonsense, but being that nobody checks this out anyway, its just good finger exercise.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

3 Tamuz

Shabbos was nice, lots of people in town. Managed to find two guests to bring home for the meal.

Got my aliyah with a bal koreh that knocked off the parsha in about 10 minutes. when I got back to 770 at about 6, Gershon Mendel was farbrenging upstairs, until some other Jews came in and gave it content befitting a NC17 rating.

Yechiel had a farbe in his house after shabbos, like 9 guys were there, it was nice getting together with the class again. we agreed that we are all confused about gimmle tamuz, but that being confused shouldn't stop us from doing what has to be done to change the matzav. Yoelish mentioned that we need to be strong now and keep at the top of the list mivtzah tfilin, that when you go to a meeting as a shliach, you should bring your tfilin with, and not be worried that the bale batim could be frightened with strange black boxes. As someone else said that these days most shluchim try more for sheurim because they are scared of tfilin.

As of a half hour ago there was a 2+ hour wait at the ohel, hopefully by the time we get there, the storm will have passed.

I saw a interesting article on the
algemeiner site which I think is worth reading.

Friday, July 08, 2005

Some ramblings

52 dead and hundreds injured, carnage and blood, seems kind of strange that people get kicks from targeting defenseless people.

When will the world understand that a people that have no qualms of just killing defenseless people can’t be dealt with in a normal manner. Until they understand that such crimes won’t go unpunished, they will just continue.

We should start with burying them with pigs, and see how they like that, or just move out of their countries, and let them kill each other, and when they amass enough weapons to make and make war, just bomb the hell out of them, and we will finally be rid of them.

In other news:
The calendars are moving along, at a slower pace that we had hoped, but still good to make our first printings, I have barely been working on them a week, and already I get headaches. I put up an ad on for our calendar, at first he put it up without any line brakes, so I asked him to correct it, and he did. So thank you Levi.

Went out for pizza today with another starving Jew, ordered pizza and a calzone, they called it a vegetable calzone, but it was more like onion calzone with a pepper.

Then went to carvel for a milkshake, where I found out that Carvel stopped making their chalav yisroel ice cream, so they changed their name to 'sprinkles ice cream'. The shake was still good.

My brother in law came in tonight for gimmel tamuz. so we shmuzed about the mushrooms.

I never thought I would smell the sweet smell of smoke on my front porch, but tonight it was there....

I dropped Michoel off at the airport at 4:30 today, to see if he could get back to the Ukraine flying standby, and as of now he hasn’t shown up at my door, so I imagine that he made it, which is a good thing being that he is taking Mironiveh on a hiking trip on Sunday.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Man Charged With Stealing Wi-Fi Signal

Long have I wonderd when this would happen.

Hearing people talk about getting stuck on the FDR and logging into peoples wi-fi connection, kind of made me wonder how leagle the whole deal was, well I geuss we will soon find out.
I suppose its like tapping into someone else's tap water.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

A pic I said I would post

It really has nothing to do with the calendar, but I figure that I am not doing much work anyway these days, so I can post off topic.

The Jew with the uzi, is Menachem Shteinberger, who was one of us four settlers at our machaz.

Before he became a mitnachel for a while with us in Chevron, he was the ra'm in the Yeshiva in Bee'r Sheva.

It was exactly 2 years ago last thursday when the magad of sayerret totchanim shut us down.

A land for its people, or people for their land

Reading Israeli newspapers, usually brings out in me many different emotions, from the love of its people to the land, to utter helplessness .

So it got me thinking, how we went from being people who lived for the land to people who just live on the land not knowing what we are doing there, all in just 50 years.

Taking it all in reminded me of a essay writen in 'the inside story' which I read in 9th grade, about the doo'r of haflaga, their problem was not in the fact that they wanted a tower, but in the (lack of) purpose of the tower.

Had they built a tower for a constructive reason it would have been good, the problem was that their mindset was bent on survival. They were in the generation after the flood, and they wanted to survive, sounds good, what could be the problem with wanting to survive, to survive is a good thing.

So the rebbe explaines that you need a reason for survival, to survive for survivals sake wont get you anywhere, it leads to the tower of Babel, a dead end, and becomes a vacuum. One must survive with a purpose, to live, to grow, to bring light down into a world shattered by a flood.

And so to escape this vacuum in our land, the people of Israel in Israel need to find purpose in being there, otherwise we see in what direction Israeli society is heading.

But whatever may be , with or without knowing why, we all love the land.

Monday, July 04, 2005


Well, here we go again.

July fifth, the deadline for the first printing of the big calendar came and went, and almost nobody is ready, we got in a few, but almost everyone who said that they would be ready for the first printing are aiming now for the second.

So we sit here, like bored Jews, waiting.

We will have a few more days to get the stuff in, because it wont take so long to print it because of the small quantity, I just hope that the rest of the people have it ready for the second printing.

Sunday, July 03, 2005


Sitting here a bit bored, just looking thru some old pics of a machaz that once was. Just the four of us, all by ourselves with our Arab neighbor. Ahh those were the days...