Some thoughts

As of now its in the middle of a identity crisis, I am not sure which way its headed.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Two summers, same feelings, diffrent results.

Sitting here in the first part of the summer in denial of what was going down in the land most holy, the disbelief turning into disgust, sadness, and a feeling that the land wedged between the Jordan and the Sea was no longer something I recognized, the soldiers no longer the friends they were.
In a certain way I didn't want to be there, knowing that friends of mine were most likely from the ones going house to house.

So I sat here wanting but unable to be there to help, shed many tears, and made up that I did not want to go back there, to a country I would no longer recognize, at least under to current government.

A years gone by.

I sit here again, not being able to leave, watching my brother arranging a group to go back and join their reserve unit, got a email today from a friend in a elite unit who until now has been doing operations in Jenin, who writes that 'between me and you, I am going north tomorrow', and I cant help but miss it.

I miss the land, in a weird sense the people, the bombs, the action, the gun shots, the music and beer, and once again I tell myself that everyone has their mission in life, and at this time I am doing my duty for the Jewish people by sitting here.

But maybe after this I will go back.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Life in check

Life is good, its moving along in a way that I don't have time to blog.

Make some money, go to a friends wedding, go on vacation, come home start a business. The headlines are all about drilling for oil, the world cup, a bit of news on Iran, a Washington scandal, hardly life changing events.

Good bourbon, more weddings and engagement parties to drink and shmuz by, enjoying being single.

Then every once in a while, realization hits that there really are things going on in the world, world changing events, either for the whole world, or for peoples private worlds.

Little brothers friend dies, a friend in Tzfat signs off AIM to go into the shelter because there are explosions outside, another brother tells me that one of the solders killed was a s'arsap in his chativah by his draft.

So I wake up, if only for a little bit, even if it lasts only as long as the Eyal Golan music I have playing, say a little extra thilim, and have a bit of a harder time enjoying the sushi for a while, then move on.

Not that I am that insensitive, or cold hearted, just sometimes it can feel that way.

"כה אמר ה' צבאות צום הרביעי וצום החמישי וצום השביעי וצום העשירי יהיו לבית יהודה לששון ולשמחה ולמועדים טובים והאמת והשלום אהבו…"